yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
