Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
