what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
