I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I want her autograph on my taint
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
