can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
