you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
