it was like his penis was on wheels.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
