Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
