I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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