remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
