I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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