I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Randomize
