I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
