remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
