Porn is love you can see.
I just saw a hot homeless man
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
