Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
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You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize