White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
