girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
