playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
