Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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