Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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