no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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