dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
