I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
