coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
When did we convert life to cartoon?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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