So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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