you didnt know i had herpes?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
