he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
