Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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