I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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