I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
