last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize