i think my tv is drunk
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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