I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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