hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
