Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
