It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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