But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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