I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
