Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
