just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
