He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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