How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
