so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
