Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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