just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
