I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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