I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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