this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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