I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
