I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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