walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
