HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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