If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
its liver damage thursday
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
