I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
