i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
