No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize