I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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