We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
