your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
