I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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