At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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