and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
