he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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