i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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