if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
