if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
