We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
