she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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